6 ways to turn self doubt into self care (without it being expensive or extreme)

Updated: Feb 26, 2019

Zoe Sugg's recent Instagram post this week made me think about all the conversations my friends and I share. No, these aren't quite like the scenes in Sex and the City with Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, ironing out their issues over a few Cosmopolitans. I'm talking about personal conversations over a luke warm cups of coffee whilst we try and assemble a Lego dinosaur with our kids. Very sophisticated.

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, @zoe_sugg shared a post last Monday saying:

'I was sat contemplating what to put for the caption of this image for so long & the reason I think I was struggling is because I have major imposter syndrome at the moment! I’m constantly doubting everything I’ve achieved, everything I’m working on business wise & everything I’m working on in my personal life!'.

She also asks if anyone else ever feels this way.

The simple answer is: yes!

Let's just make an unnecessary comparison

On paper, Zoe is 28, juggles a number of successful businesses stemming from her blog and Youtube channel. She, and her equally successful boyfriend Alfie Days, own a mansion in Brighton and live a very lavish lifestyle. Oh, and to top it off, she's absolutely beautiful and I'm pretty sure her pelvic floor muscles don't let her down if she's on a trampoline.

Meanwhile, I'm 30, I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years, we have a daughter and we are soon to be expecting baby no.2. For the past 8 years, I've been following my passions and I run a small business which I love.

Following your passion sounds really dreamy but in reality, it can mean you work full-time hours and get paid a part time wage. After giving birth to my daughter, the next day I was feeding her whilst hunched over my emails and I returned to teaching after 3 weeks. When my friends talk about taking maternity leave, I can't relate. I'm not married, nor do my partner and I own a house. My job means I'm still answering emails at midnight and it's hard to switch off when there's a multitude of ways that people can now contact you. I'm a one woman show, meaning if I don't do the work, there's no back up and no help. On paper my life might sound hunky dory but I have worries that make my heart palpitate and I find myself awake at 3am adding to the list of things I need to-do or ideas.

If I carried on thinking this way, it would make me head into a downward spiral as I would only be focusing on the negatives. Believe me, I've been there.

You're not alone

Speak with any of my friends and they are faced with doubts and fears when it comes to their own lives too. No-one, however successful, is immune to it.

Some of them are in their 20s and others in their 60s. Some have children, some don't. Some love their jobs, others still have no clue want they want to do for a career. Some are healthy and others are battling health issues. Some want to travel and others long to meet 'the one' and settle down. Some have been married and divorced by 30 and others are in their